Free Hats!!!

Let me tell you a story. This is a cautionary tale to all people who value patriotism, freedom, love, and sandwiches. Ok, well it doesn't really involve those things but it got you interested. Anyway these are way too politically charged times for me to be writing about patriotism and freedom.

No, this story is about Larry.

Free Hats!

As Larry’s grasp on reality slipped away, he knew what Chicago needed. Certain that wild falcons would enliven the city; he began illegally importing birds by the thousand and releasing them. He was right. May 10^th was declared a holiday: “Shoot a Bird, Get a Hat Day”. Now, I have twelve hats. Larry’s still crazy.

I love Nanofiction.

I think I'll do it more frequently....which means I'll being playing it with Jess more often I'm sure.
That will make her happy.

Thanks to Petch Petcherson for the setting, problem, and resolution used to inspire Free Hats!

Inner City Pressure

No song has been able to convey the rigors of living in a big city like Tallahassee quite like this gem from Flight of the Conchords.

Inner City Pressure

Inner city life, inner city pressure
The concrete world is starting to get ya
The city is alive, the city is expanding,
Living in the city can be demanding,
You’ve pawned everything, everything you own,
Your toothbrush, jar, and a camera phone
You don’t know where you’re going
You cross the street
You don’t know why you did,
You walk back across the street.
Standing in the sitting room, totally skint
And your favorite jersey is covered in lint
You want to sit down, but you sold your chair
So you just stand there
You just stand there
You just stand there

Inner
Inner city
Inner city pressure
Inner city pressure

Counting coins on the counter of the 7-11,
From a quarter past six ‘til a quarter to seven,
The manager Bevan starts to abuse me
Hey man, I just want some Muesli,
Neon signs, hidden messages,
Questions, answers, fetishes,
You know you’re not in high finance,
Considering getting second hand underpants,
Check your mind, how’d it get so bad?
What happened to those other underpants you had,
Look in your pockets, haven’t found a cent yet,
Landlords on your balls, have you paid your rent yet?

Inner
Inner city
Inner city pressure
Inner city pressure

So you think maybe you’ll be a prostitute,
Just to pay for your lessons, you’re learning the flute,
The ladies won’t pay you very much for this,
Looks like you’ll never be a concert flautist,
You don’t measure up to the expectation
When you’re unemployed there’s no vacation
No one cares, no one sympathizes
You just stay home and play synthesizers.

Inner
Inner city
Inner city pressure
Inner city pressure

Inner
Inner city
Inner city pressure
Inner city pressure

What are you searching for hidden treasure?
All you'll find is...
Inner City Pressure
You've lost perspective like a picture by Escher,
It's the pressure
Pressure



It feels good to know someone else has to deal with the same things I do.

The Code

There comes a time in every man's life when he realizes he needs a code to determine his actions.

That time is now!

I present to you The Bro Code by Barnabus Stinson. Due to the clandestine nature of The Code and the fact that it is stored "in a non-disclosed location, two stories beneath sea level in a vacuum-sealed bulletproof chamber" very few people have ever even seen The Code, let alone taken a snapshot. But I am lucky enough to be able to show you the only known photograph of The Bro Code in existence.



Yes. It really exists.

Now it is up to you to determine if you have reached that crossroads in your life that you feel can only be filled by The Code. If so, then you have received the only clues you will ever receive concerning its location.

Go now and become a Bro of the highest standing!

DDR!

How many of you have ever wanted to get completely wasted and then go driving around at insane speeds, but didn't really like the idea of risking a DUI and jail time, or the thought of possibly committing vehicular manslaughter??

I know I have!!

Well now you can! With Rockstar games new title...

Drunk Driving Revolution!!!

Drink as much as you like, then stumble to any car you want!! They are all available!!



But wait!!!! There's more!!!

For those of you who love both bowling and Dancified opera we are throwing in our new mini-game title...

The Bowler of Seville!!

Not only do you get to bowl with Figaro, you can also throw darts and shoot pool!! This is easily the greatest 3 in 1 game set of all time!!!! You will spend hours attempting to get Turkeys, Bullseyes, and not scratching!!

Well...feel free to scratch if you need to!



If I was to ask you how much you thought this set cost you would probably guess somewhere in the 12, ooo range. But NO!!!
If you call in the next 15 minutes not only will we give you DDR!!! but we will throw in The Bowler of Seville for the low, low price of 3 easy installments of $99!!!

Never before has this much entertainment been offered for so low a price!!! Never before has such a deal been offered in this blog!!!
Act now while supplies last!

Blogger's are standing by.

Damn Titans

I should have posted this yesterday..but I'm lazy.

What the heck were the Titans thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Most of you probably don't know or care..... but the Titans had the 24th overall pick...which isn't great when looking for a great skill player. But when you get to the 24th pick and all of the elite receivers are there (...which you need!!!!!!) and you decide to take a no-name running back from the East Carolina Purple Pirates something is up. Granted the kid is pretty good and was ranked as like the 5th back in the draft...but they could have had any receiver..ANY!!!!

oh well.. maybe he'll become the player Reggie Bush was supposed to be. haha...yeah right... Reggie Bush can't even become the player he was supposed to be.


ok on to the funny...

Crazy..the song..not the mental status

What happens when you take one of the catchiest songs of 2006 and combine it with one of the most odd, yet amazing instruments of the 20th century??

Now you know...

If only the whole world was like this...

Ben Linus is scary

So after a nice evening of hilarity on NBC I switched over to ABC for the first new episode of Lost in a month.

Holy crap!! This show just continues to blow my mind. We knew something crazy had to happen, but actually seeing it...no words.

Here in the Eastern Time Zone it starts at 10pm..which means by the time we are all wired up and hopping on Island inspired adrenaline it ends...at 11pm. Then I'm supposed to go to sleep?!??!! Are you crazy?!

Anyway, for those who don't watch this show...you are really missing out. i know it was kinda slow for a season and a half, but there is new life in this beast and it is firing on all cylinders! Season 4 right now is working its way to being as good as Season 1. I know...bold words...but definitely true.

Doesn't it seem like only yesterday when it was hard to think of Ben Linus as Ben? I mean he was Henry for so long giving him a new name was crazy, but so is Ben..so there is that.

So in summary. Lost is intensely awesome!


Oh, and on an unrelated topic...

Ryan Howard on blow is hilarious.

In addition

As some of you know I enjoy things. Now, I know what you are thinking, "Jason, we all enjoy things!" But I believe I enjoy more things than you do!!! Movies, music, books, games, food, etc. These are only a few of the literally dozens of things I enjoy.

As someone who prides himself on being an enjoyifier of high caliber and pedigree I will occasionally place reviews or recommendations of said "enjoyable" things.

The first thing to receive a Jason Flowers' Stamp of Enjoyment is the recently released film Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Jess and I had the fortune to celebrate seven years together (as a couple) last week and thought, "Hey! Let's get a babysitter and watch a film about people breaking up! It will makes us feel better because we are the most awesomest in the entire world!" (if you didn't know this...it is true.)

So Saturday morning came ( yes, we are lame and go to the movies on the weekend..before noon. its only 4 bucks!) and we entered the theater for the first movie we have seen at a theater since February and only the third since Evey was born.

Sidebar....Babies take up a lot of time.

As the movie began we were excited because we love us some Jason Segal and Kristen Bell and knew that this movie would make us laugh uncontrollably. Literally, like asked to shut up or leave!

Anyway, that Jason Segal is very daring with what he will do on camera. I mean within 5 minutes we were exposed to something we did not expect to see not once, not twice, but thrice!! I shan't give away what the afore mentioned thing was, but if/when you have seen it...you will know. Needless to say we knew we were in for a hilariously ballsy ride!

Well onto the actual film. It was not an entirely original story, boy loses girl, boy goes to Hawaii, oops girl is in Hawaii with new boy, boy meets new girl who helps him get over girl. Typical RomCom fare. What is so impressive about this film was that the "bad guy", Sarah Marshall is a character that you eventually feel compassion towards. That being said...she is still a stupid biatch!I mean, who could ever dump Marshall from HIMYM???

In fact the females in this Judd Apatow film, felt pretty real. Unlike in 40 year old Virgin, Knocked Up, or Superbad, these girls weren't shallowly written concoctions of an adolescent male brain. Ok, so they were written by a 20 something male, but they had dreams, aspirations, disappointments, fears, insecurities, etc.

Oh and they were both super hot. Especially VMars. I heart Kristen Bell.

Another strength of this film was its supporting characters from Bill Hader as Segal's step-brother to the always hilarious Paul Rudd as the completely-out-of-it surfing instructor, they all had us cracking up!

I was, however, not a fan of Jonah Hill's performance. While great in Superbad, his character was just a little too awkward and uncomfortable to watch. And not in a The Office kind of uncomfortable, but in a "wow, they should have gotten a different actor" uncomfortable.

All in all, Forgetting Sarah Marshall was a great film that both Jess and I thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe not as much as The Empire Strikes Back or Raiders of the Lost Ark, but much more than Batman and Robin.

Lastly, I would like to bring everyone's attention to Russell Brand who stars as British rock star and lothario Aldous Snow. This guy is is f***ing hilarious!!!!!
This is a video of his fake band fromthe movie.



Infant Sorrow

Smoking is bad!

Quite possibly the most convincing anti-smoking ads I have ever seen.

Kids, don't let 3P0 and R2 down!




Here's a link to the full minute long version!!! It's awesome!!!

You Only Live Once

So this is the second video for You Only Live Once by the Strokes..and it totally kicks ass.

Cash moneez!!!

In order to begin raking in the dough I have determined that easily the most sure fire way to become a gajillionaire over night is with.......web ads!!!

So if you don't mind please begin by clicking on the links at the bottom of the page. As incentive, as soon as I have made my first million..the first 5 people to leave comments on this post will each receive $10,000.

Yes, you read that right $10k!!!

(jmflow does not guarantee that web ads will indeed lead to $1,000,000 in profit...if say jmflow earns $1,000,000 on his own with some ridiculously brilliant idea he comes up with tomorrow..then you get nothing.)

In order to make the ads more exciting I will periodically add words that might at least make for interesting web viewage.

Today's topic: guitars

Fender, gibson, guitar, amplifier, strings, music



In case you are wondering, everything you read above this...is a lie. You all know that I can't give you any money...Jess would kill me.

Weblogosphericalifornia!

So, I have decided that I have enough free time to become a part-time bloggist.

I am not sure how much money I can feasibly expect to make with such a fiscal venture, however I have been assured of at least making an extra 1-2 figures worth of income to add to my already exorbitant salary from my Faculty position at a state school.

I am also aware that this extra accrual of funds will most likely be due to my ability to successfully borrow 1 dollar at a time from friends and family.

Also, fondue does sound good...dammit!