Monday's Blockbuster Haiku #10

Crazy old man Kane,
Hides in his house, Xanadu,
It's a frakking sled???

Friday's Poems I Might Actually Like #4

Eggs

I like eggs,
From my head down to my legs.

I like sweets,
From my head down to my feets.

I like trees,
From my head down to my knees.

I like calves,
From my head down to my ...calves.

I like hoes,
From my head down to my ...well, you know.

Wednesday's Nanofiction Roundup- "The End is Nigh"

While traversing the globe, the young man saw many wondrous sights, all of which added to his appreciation of the planet. He knew that this world had only a few years left. His quest was to see it all before the end. Unfortunately, when the end came he was still in line for Batman tickets.

Monday's Blockbuster Haiku #10

General, now slave,
Am I not merciful, bitch?!?!
Don't make me cut you!

Wednesday's Nanofiction Roundup- "Beast Master"

The beast’s snout dripped gore as it looked up from the carcass that was its evening meal. The man standing near it seemed unafraid.
His only thought was of taming the wild brute.
Approaching slowly he drew the harness from within his robe.
“Good thing I’m omnipotent or this would be really difficult,” he thought.

Dino Mounts!

this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while, and it is really from a Bible coloring book!

Monday's Blockbuster Haiku #9

Who you gonna call?
Just remember that you should
Never cross your streams!

A weeks inactivity

Wondering where I've been all week? I know you are. Well, here is the answer!!!
Washington, D.C.

Jess had to go to a conference and Evey and I went too. Long story short, we had fun but are glad to be home, even if only for a few days. Oh and having a baby with an ear infection on a trip sucks. FYI.

Also, Jess is crazy, she had a conference briefcase that they give all the attendees, but didn't want it. So when our bag was 2lbs over the weight limit she decided to throw it away. I said "Hopefully no one from DHS sees you do that or we are going to be here for a long time."

Here is a slideshow of some of the pics from our time in our nations capitol.



We are going to Nashville this week to see Eddie Izzard, but I will be able to have internet access there. The hotel in DC wanted $10 a day for internet access!!!

Monday's Blockbuster Haiku #8

Dirty Harry's here,
Just ask yourself one question,
Do I feel lucky?

Friday's Poems I Might Actually Like #3

You know this is a rap.

Where, oh , where has Jack Bauer Gone?

It's been over a year since we saw Jack Bauer,
Even longer if you look for ep's with any real power.

We still gotta wait 'til next January
to see him kill a tango with a golfing tee.

I mean, what's Primetime without a little torture?
As long as its after that 10 PM hour.

His kill count increase has gone exponential,
and those bodies falling down are just torrential.

I hope the next season's as good as 5 and 2,
Not like 6 and 3 which were a big load of poo.

Serbs, "Arabs", Mexicans, and Brits,
Russians, Chinese, and others time permits.

They don't stand a chance against my man, Jack Bauer.
When they see him drive up they're gonna shake and cower.

So when it comes time to fight some evil,
You know we're gonna let Jack get primeval.

Peace. Or not.

Wednesday's Nanofiction Roundup- "Now Don't You Wish You'd Voted?"

The Man behind the Curtain

This week I thought it would be fun to let you read a Nanofiction by the creator of Nanofictionary, Andrew Looney. Mr. Looney has created a wonderful writing medium that I think requires the use of creativity and ingenuity that is not required in most other forms of writing. And now we queue the music.



Now Don't You Wish You'd Voted?

Against virtually impossible odds, the presidential election ended in a tie: Each major candidate won the exact same number of electoral votes. Strangely enough, due to a little known clause in the Constitution, the tie-breaker was decided by the Supreme Court, in a game of Capture the Flag held on the White House lawn.

Here is a link to more Nanofiction by Andrew Looney.

New Nashville Music

As a Nashvillian who has moved away, I feel it is up to me to make sure that people who aren't aware of musicians and bands from Nashville become aware of these fine men and women. wow, that was a long sentence.

Recently Autovaughn released a new EP, The Cycles. They rock! Here is the title songs video:

The Cycles



Also, next month Paper Route is releasing a new EP called Are We All Forgotten. I have been waiting for this since 2005!! So it should also be great. Here is a promo video they made for the EP.



Check out their myspace sites to hear some more of their music, you won't be disappointed.

Every-day Super Powers

Apparently all humans are pre-cogs. In this article we learn that there is a 1/10th of a second lag between light hitting your eye and your brain going, "OK. That is a monkey on a unicycle."

What? You don't see monkey unicyclists??

Anyway, according to the super smart scientists our brain has evolved a way of guessing what is going to happen based on all of the visual data it is receiving. That way when you are double-dutch jump roping, playing jacks, or participating in other schoolyard activities your brain and body know when to act so you don't get your feet tangled up or lose at jacks. Nobody wants to lose at jacks.

But what if everything you did was 1/10th of a second faster than everyone else? You could be the most lame Super Hero since Captain Planet!!!

You would be known as Slightly Ahead Man. or Mister Jump-the-Gun. or The Senses. Ok, that one was really lame...I think we have a winner!

Just think.... you could finish peoples sentences, deny having farted first, enjoy ice cream more quickly! The possibilities are 1/10th of endless!!

Man, I wish I had more powers than my stupid old seeing-the-future eyes that everyone else has.

Monday's Blockbuster Haiku #7

Ship hit an iceberg,
No longer King-of-the-World,
Just Frozen Leo.